Bob Wilber, 51 years of age, died on Monday evening, February 11, from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. He is survived by many friends and his loving and devoted family: wife, Julie, and daughter, Sarah. He is also survived by his mother, Dolores Elizabeth nee Schorsch, brother, Clyde, his family, Jean, Michael, and Katharine, and sisters, Diane, and Dolores. Bob continued the plumbing and repair business of his father, Clyde, after his death, for the last fifteen years, changing the name to American Service and Maintenance. Bob was a beloved member of his family and his community of friends and associates. He was president, and an enormously active member for many years, of the Twelve Step House, the recovery house for men in Chicago. Bob grew up on the Northwest side of Chicago, St. Priscilla parish, Shabbona Park, Schorsch Village neighborhood, attending St. Patrick’s High School.
A memorial fund has been set-up for Bob's family. Please send donations to Sarah Wilber, c/o American Service and Maintenance, 3046 N. California Avenue, Chicago, IL 60618. If you wish to make direct donations to an education fund for Sarah, please make donations payable to Waddell & Reed, Inc., memo: Education Fund for Sarah, and send to the same address.
Memorial Catholic Mass at St. Priscilla's Church, 6949 W. Addison St., Chicago, Saturday, March 1, 10:30AM, and at Resurrection Catholic Church, 3043 N. Francisco Ave., 4:30PM.
Memorial visitation at Cooney Funeral Home, 3918 W. Irving Park Rd., Chicago, Saturday, February 16, 2008, from 3 to 8 p.m. Memorial Service at 7:30 p.m. Another Memorial Service will be held at the Twelve Step House, 4454 N. Damen Avenue, Chicago. Further information on public services will be provided at a later date.
Please share your memories and thoughts and photos about our dear Bob.
19 comments:
Our condolences to Julia and Sarah and the rest of the Wilber family.
Bob brightened many lives and helped many people. He will always be missed.
Greg Schorsch and Family
Our Condolences to Julia and Sarah and all the Wilbur Family. My thoughts and prayers will be with you during this time of sorrow. He will be so missed.
Lizann Rademacher and Family
My condolances to Julie, Sarah and the Wilbur family. I know Bob's death will leave such a hole in your lives. He was a wonderful man and I will always think of his humor, his wisdom and his kindness. Bob, left us better for knowing him.
ElizabethO
Bob was one of my lifetime friends, we shared a rare and beautiful relationship as far back as my memory goes. As kids we learned about life by pushing the limits till our fingers sometimes got burned. When trouble came about, Bob was always in the fray, an easy target who always had my back. Always a giver, not a taker. These were times of hard knocks and comrades.
We grew up together when the music really mattered. He loved the Stones. Our music brought us together and made sense of the crazy times. We’ll always have Muddy Waters.
Over time, our wild yearnings were tempered and we grew into mature, responsible adults. Our values realigned into family and sobriety. In this regard, Bob was a huge success story.
In recent years our contact has been scarce, still, we’d pick up on a conversation started years before. What a gift to have friends from childhood who share your history and to be greeted by those familiar smiling eyes of his. Bring my problems to Bob and have everything put into perspective. His eyes get that twinkle and then the irreplaceable laugh explodes. I will miss that laugh; Dr. Bob’s remedy for what ever ails ya. A unique piece of God’s work, taken for granted. Simple, yet complicated.
I drank a lot with Bob and later shared as much sobriety; I enjoyed his company either way. He would share whatever he had, no questions.
I envy Bob’s commitment to the program. He helped a lot of people. I honestly cannot see him turning down anyone’s request for help. He worked on making the world a better place and succeeded.
Bob treated me like one of his own. I love you, Bob.
K.S.
I am so sorry for the lose of Bobby. That's what I always called him when I was over at Aunt Delores and Uncle Clyde's house to play. Those memories bring a smile to my face. I know we all have spent happy times with Bob that we should recall at this time of his loss. My last memory of him was at our family reunion last summer. He was grilling away of course. I remember him joking about making sure he didn't grill any of the locusts that were all over the place for lunch. His commitment to the Twelve Steps speaks of his commitment to recovery. Through him many have been shown a way to recovery and serenity. My condolences to Julia and Sarah, Aunt Delores and all of the family members and friends of out Bobby. I will never forget him.
Bonnie Tovell (Schorsch) and Family
ps, Uncle Ray has your back Bob, say Hi to him for me when you see him ok?
Bob and I were friends for generations. He and I lived together (twice), played together (both harmless and harmful), and loved each other very much. I am left with an encyclopedia of memories of Bob. Most of which are not appropriate for younger readers. It is safe to say we did it all. And we always did it with humor or fun in mind. We shared more laughs together than most third world countries experience in a lifetime. As I write this, I am reminded of those times and am laughing out loud, even as I sit here by myself. Now that is a good memory! In recent years, Bob and I didn't see each other as much as we would have liked. That happens when you begin to raise a family and focus on a career. But we always talked on the phone. We solved the problems of the Cubs, Bears, Blackhawks, Politics, and famine (never of us missed many meals!). When we did see each other it was for Poker or Golf. Bob will always have a seat at my Poker table and a spot in my foursome. I miss him already. I am comforted by my last meeting with Bob. He and I went out for dinner at the Gale Street Inn (one of our favorites) for his 51st birthday in December. We had a great time discussing the usual things. When we left, I received the pattened Bob Bear Hug in the parking lot. On Monday we all lost someone special. Sarah lost a Father. Julie lost a husband. Dolores lost a son. Clyde, Dolores, and Diane lost a brother. Clydes children lost an uncle. Many lost a cousin. And I lost the closest friend I ever had.
Lets face it, Bob survived things that most did not. He spent his life living. He did things and saw things most of us only dream about. And he even managed to find love and the rear miracle of fatherhood. Anyone who met Bob will never forget him. I have to believe that few could put 10 lbs of life in a 5 lb the way Bob did.
On to a greater existence.
Stephen Brockman
From Clyde, Bob's brother:
My Brother Bob,
I am Robert Scott Wilber’s older brother. Five years older. So I was a big St. Pricilla’s 5th grader when he started kindergarten. I was off to college when he started at St. Pat’s. But before that we shared a single bedroom with Dolores and later the upstairs room at 7005 W. School Street as soon as Mom and Dad finished converting the attic. Diane and Dolores being princesses got their own room. They missed a lot.
Little kid Bob should have been a tortured soul, but he never was. He developed a rash on his legs when he was very young. There were awful red sores on his calves for a very long time. My parents went through a series of solutions. During the milk allergy theory period, we had goats milk in the house for Bob. It was putrid. I think Bob preferred the sores. We all treated Bob as the vulnerable kid that needed to be treated as special. Bill and Julie, our across the alley neighbors, attempted to spoil him as we all did. However, Bob was never a spoiled brat. He was always smiling and laughing. Remember with me now, can you even picture a frown on his face?
He was very skinny with more energy than his brothers and sisters combined. We have a picture of the four of us at the Albert Pic Pool in Rockford, Illinois. Bob has a look of joy on his face that is impossible to mis-understand. By the time of this picture, my parents had found a competent doctor and got rid of the rash. He stayed the same fun kid. He was living in the upstairs bedroom with me by then. Our room was carved out of the attic and had alcoves into the roof dormers. The ceiling slanted in except for these dormers. My son Michael had a similar room growing up. Bob’s bed was next to the door and set back to the east, mine was in the front of the house and set forward to the north. We had beds frames out of rough hewn “western” wood, cowboys that we were. We would chat at night after the lights went out. Around Christmas time all the houses in our neighborhood (Schorsch Village) were decorated in a planned format. Each house on our street had large letter hung from the top dormer facing out. Our house had the letter “E” as our part in spelling School Street’s declaration of “Merry Christmas. This “E” bathed my bed in a red light each night. It kept us up later than usual. I remember talking with Bob about Santa Clause. Bob believed in the mystical and took joy the idea of Santa. I never expressed any Santa doubt with Bob. From the way he talked to his daughter, I don’t think he ever stopped believing. Bob could make us all believe.
Bob always had more friends than anyone in the neighborhood. Even more than Dolores my sister, queen of our street. From the time when he was very young until last week, there was something about Bob that just drew people to him. These friends stayed with Bob throughout his entire life. I have friends going back to High School. Bob has many close friends here tonight going back to grammar School.
Like many of us Bob went through a dark time. Many friends stood by him during that time. But no one was more constant, more understanding, more patient, more loving than Dolores E. Wilber his mother. It takes great courage to take your child through the dark times, our Mom has that courage. Thanks Mom.
Many people never come out of their dark times, others that do are damaged. Bob used those times to take himself and many others to a better place. Bob helped many people through the same troubles he had. He rose to be president of 12 step house. Some of them here tonight have told me there will never be another Bob. Few people can look back on a life so rich in helping others.
Bob, like me learned the plumbing trade from my dad, gone these many years. All the Wilber men are plumbers. Bob took over my dad’s business and made it go for him, his men and his family. Those of you that have run your own business know how hard this can be. Bob did it in a way that kept him close to family and friends.
Bob was a family man. In these times of loose and broken relationships, he stood by his family; and it is a big family. First there are, Julie and Sara the family he started late in life and loved dearly. But Bob was also a family man to his, mom, brothers and sister’s cousins and friends and all the people of 12 step house. He has more family than any Wilber or Schorsh I know. This is perhaps the greatest thing I know about my brother. Bob.
Later in life it was his warm personality that took him to the best places. Those places were about the people he loved and touched, like his loving wife Julie, his daughter Sara, Mom, Dad, Dolores, Diane, his cousin’s, friends and all the people he helped from 12 step house. Bob gave all of himself. He will not really be missed by us; because he will always be with us. For those of you who knew him, do you feel him here with us? I do. Remember his joy of life and smile with him now. He will feel it.
I am proud to call Bob Wilber my friend. We shared some crazy times together and to say that Bob was larger than life is done so without tongue in cheek or with any pun intended. We attended many concerts together. We shared a love of the BoDeans, Tom Petty and the Kinks to name a few. Bob was a good friend and filled my times with him with laughter and joy and I will never forget the good times we had or my favorite quote from Bob that “cats don’t eat cake”. I love you Bob
It's hard for me to contribute memories to this because reading all your wonderful stories has emphasized how little I knew my Uncle. Growing up outside of Chicago has meant, in part, missing out on a lot of family and it's hard to navigate the love and closeness I felt for Uncle Bob with the accompanying unfamiliarity. I wish that I'd known him better.
I do have one memory of Bob though, that for me encapsulates everything I knew about him. It was one of the first times I went to Chicago to visit (I know because I remember my brother being there as well) and my Dad (Clyde) took us out to dinner with Uncle Bob and Grandma and I'm sure Aunt Dolores and Aunt Diane- I remember there being more people there, but I was probably only a little older then than Sarah is now, so trusting in the details of this story probably isn't wise-. I remember thinking that I had never been around so many LOUD people in my life. I remember being intimidated and overwhelmed and not liking these crazy relatives very much. I remember feeling put out because everyone was ignoring me (ah...childhood).
And then somebody ordered Rabbit for dinner. It was either my Dad or my brother, though I'm inclined to think my Dad...and I had a pet rabbit at the time and so I started to cry. I was horrified that somebody was going to eat my pet. My brother was being just horrible to me; he was going on about how I should try to eat rabbit too and not whine about it, which made me cry harder and STILL everyone was ignoring me. And then Uncle Bob, who was sitting near me, leans over and booms out across the table: "Bugs is dead, Babe."
And he started to laugh.
Everyone who's met Bob knows that his laugh was an infectious thing. Everyone at the table started to laugh with him. I had to stop crying and laugh also. It was this exuberant, inclusive, magical moment. People in the restaurant were staring we were all laughing so loudly. And after that, I began to feel more comfortable with my Chicago family.
As I got older and I imagine as Uncle Bob got older and started his own beautiful family, I grew closer to my Aunts. When he started having health problems, I was recovering from surgeries of my own- I wanted to talk to him about how powerless I felt and how hard it was for me to stay positive throughout that experience, but we never could connect on the subject. I think it was just not in Uncle Bob to feel powerless. I think he lived his life so IN the moment, that he didn't have the time to worry about what had happened before or what would happen next. I didn't understand that about him until recently.
I know that I didn't know Bob as well as many of the people who are writing on this site. My Aunt Dolores said that he and I had a relationship that was "real" and I think that's a good way of putting it. He and I did not always understand one another, but even from all the way in Virginia I felt close to him. I imagine I will continue to feel that way about him still. His was such a powerful personality and presence, that even the little time I spent with him was enough to last all of my lifetime. I agree with my Dad- I can't miss my Uncle Bob, because I feel he is with us still.
After all...I've seen Sarah's smile.
I know Bob only from meetings and from the annual memorial day party at his house. But I know this: that guy had a heart as huge as he was, an infectious laugh, and that he helped a great many people to stay sober. And I know that he will be deeply missed.
-Betsy C.
Bob was Shakespeare's Falstaff, Jack Kerouac's Dean Moriarty, Hunter S. Thompson's Raoul Duke. The difference was that Bob was able to overcome adversity. A hard tap on the shoulder over 12 years ago gave him evidence of a Higher Power. It also gave him a calling, a great wife and child, and his friends and family, including me, a dozen years of the best friend we ever had.
Greg
I remember Bob on his last memorial day. A band was set up in the backyard and brats were on the grill. From where my wife and I were sitting, we had a great view of Bob. He was leaning on his deck bannister, chomping on a cigar, and smiling.
Jay W.
T Roe . . . I remember the days of the Sox/Cubs arguements, and no matter how heated it would get, we'd always finish with one of Bob's big husky laughs and that bright smile, and we'd all have a good laugh! Years later when I started my career in education, Bob and I were having one of those good 'ol talks Wilbs was special for, and sure enough he would say how great it was going to be where I was going to have a positive influence and have the opportunity to help people grow in a positive manner. Little did Bob know, I share with my students/athletes the characteristics of many of my family, friends and loved ones. Hopefully, I was able to bring the life of Bob Wilber to not one, but many of the people I come across in my daily life.
Bob, there was no agruing about this, you had a great soul, and you truly cared for each person with a loving heart and magnificent smile! MAY GOD BLESS!! and while you're up there see if HE can get you that world series, and that comes from a Sox fan!!! ... How did you know 'The Stones'and The Who would last this long?
Our family sends our condolences to Julie, Sarah and the rest of their family. Your are in our prayers. May God be with you in this time of need.
Robert and Katrina Nelson and family.
I wish I could have come but I was out of town.
Bob was really nice to me when I first came to Hoyne and LeMoyne. He really supported my sobriety and was a big help to me. He was a fun and funny person who was really down to earth but with pizzazz. He will be missed.
My condolences to all his loved ones. His memory will live on.
Today is an anniversary of sorts. It was one year ago today that I saw my friend Bob for the last time. Today, December 12, is Bob’s birthday. He would have been 52 today. Every year on or near his Birthday, I would call Bob to wish him a Happy B-day and to shoot the shit for a hour or so. Last year, on this date, we met at Gale Street Inn and had that talk in person. We each had a full slab, some au gratins, salad, and ice tea. Little did we know then that it would be our last meeting.
Included in our conversation that night were the usual topics. The Blackhawks, The Cubs, Politics, and Family were just a few of the things we discussed that night. We each loved to challenge each other with our thoughts and opinions. Sometimes we would play devils advocate and take the other side of the issue just to ensure we had a lively debate. I miss those times dearly. And I miss Bob. I think about him often and wonder how he would feel or what he would say about the issues of the day (although I have a pretty good idea).
So Happy Birthday my friend. I hope you have found a peaceful existence that seems to elude the rest of us.
Missing you, Bob.
Greg
Bob,
Missing your smile and laugh. Wishing you were around. I think you would help. Put in a good word will ya. Please get those cubs in order for next year. I miss the hugs you'd always give. Your baby is beautiful. Looks like you so much and has that twinkle in her eye like you. Hoping you can help me with some hard times. Miss you. Gratitude.
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